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Post by my2cents on Jan 25, 2024 9:53:07 GMT -5
As I get older definitely start realizing I’m mortal.
A person who lives in my building found out he has terminal cancer about a year ago. He has a great attitude about it and his only concern he talks about, is the impact his death with have on others.
Last night he told me his end of life plans. He’s going to Oregon to have an assisted suicide. Because his doctor told him he will shortly go down quickly and be unable to take a flight he already scheduled the “party” and the procedure.
Never knew anyone who did this before and it took me by shock, but true to his nature, he’s doing it his way.
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Post by JohnM on Jan 25, 2024 10:02:36 GMT -5
Sad story.
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Post by roger on Jan 25, 2024 11:16:36 GMT -5
very sad indeed ....
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Post by my2cents on Feb 12, 2024 13:36:19 GMT -5
I met with the guy today. in 6 days he'll end his life.
We talked for a little over an hour. He said how his schedule is so busy as he prepares for his last days. He said on the positive, he is able to close all his loose ends and say the things we all mean to say. Our conversation spanned all our usual topics, e.g. you know what , social issues, economics, etc.
One interesting BtB related topic was the experience of aging. He was an athlete, who spent much of his life closely involved with sports, before he became an evil lawyer (lol) . He said many athletes have trouble accepting passing their physical peak, which according to him, is 30 for most athletes. Many of his friends in their 60's are denying their age and he feels in a way being an athlete made it easier to accept.
Emotional day for my wife and me, but I'm glad I got to know this guy. He lived (and ended) his life his way.
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Post by Knuckles on Feb 12, 2024 13:54:44 GMT -5
I'm going to live forever.
I'm stupid that way.
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Post by my2cents on Feb 12, 2024 14:39:43 GMT -5
I'm going to live forever. I'm stupid that way. Like some GM’s who think their players will never age 😏 (sorry, couldn’t resist)
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Post by Knuckles on Feb 12, 2024 14:47:23 GMT -5
I'm going to live forever. I'm stupid that way. Like some GM’s who think their players will never age 😏 (sorry, couldn’t resist) Belying what I wrote above, sometimes I'm afraid to take relatively simple medications. Aging is a rollercoaster, and not always a fun ride.
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Post by Yankin'It in Beantown on Feb 12, 2024 15:02:02 GMT -5
I met with the guy today. in 6 days he'll end his life. We talked for a little over an hour. He said how his schedule is so busy as he prepares for his last days. He said on the positive, he is able to close all his loose ends and say the things we all mean to say. Our conversation spanned all our usual topics, e.g. you know what , social issues, economics, etc. One interesting BtB related topic was the experience of aging. He was an athlete, who spent much of his life closely involved with sports, before he became an evil lawyer (lol) . He said many athletes have trouble accepting passing their physical peak, which according to him, is 30 for most athletes. Many of his friends in their 60's are denying their age and he feels in a way being an athlete made it easier to accept. Emotional day for my wife and me, but I'm glad I got to know this guy. He lived (and ended) his life his way. I'm not sure how you end a conversation like that but that's a pretty heavy moment. I would need a sedative. All the best to your friend (see what I mean, saying that seems very weird) and to you and your spouse.
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Post by Norkee on Feb 12, 2024 15:52:55 GMT -5
My mom, in her middle 80's, had to go on dialysis. The doc once told her that, if she ever faced a harsh medical situation, she could take the easy way out if she wanted to by simply discontinuing dialysis and she would sleep more and more over a period of two weeks and then peacefully expire. A few months before her 90th birthday, she was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive cancer and she decided, rather than getting chemo, radiation, etc., to pull the plug on dialysis, thus beginning the 2-week clock. She lasted 13 days and, just as the doc said, slept more and more as the days progressed, and departed in peace. (This was quite a few years ago.)
It blew my mind that, as with your friend, we essentially had a date circled on the calendar and could see that date approaching. The second week was quite solemn, especially as I had moved back home from the time of her decision and was with her throughout. It gave us all, as you said, a chance to talk through all things. Unlike your friend being lucid to the end (wow), mom was basically comatose by the time of her finish. It was all so very surreal though -- essentially turning the hour glass over and watching as the finite sand drained through. I sorta know what your friend and his loved ones might be going through, but even more so as he retains presence of mind to the last. Despite the clarity and closure, still a unique and bizarre human experience. My heart goes out.
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Post by my2cents on Feb 12, 2024 16:27:19 GMT -5
I met with the guy today. in 6 days he'll end his life. We talked for a little over an hour. He said how his schedule is so busy as he prepares for his last days. He said on the positive, he is able to close all his loose ends and say the things we all mean to say. Our conversation spanned all our usual topics, e.g. you know what , social issues, economics, etc. One interesting BtB related topic was the experience of aging. He was an athlete, who spent much of his life closely involved with sports, before he became an evil lawyer (lol) . He said many athletes have trouble accepting passing their physical peak, which according to him, is 30 for most athletes. Many of his friends in their 60's are denying their age and he feels in a way being an athlete made it easier to accept. Emotional day for my wife and me, but I'm glad I got to know this guy. He lived (and ended) his life his way. I'm not sure how you end a conversation like that but that's a pretty heavy moment. I would need a sedative. All the best to your friend (see what I mean, saying that seems very weird) and to you and your spouse. Sorry for the downer post, but I appreciate your sentiments.
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Post by my2cents on Feb 12, 2024 16:31:07 GMT -5
My mom, in her middle 80's, had to go on dialysis. The doc once told her that, if she ever faced a harsh medical situation, she could take the easy way out if she wanted to by simply discontinuing dialysis and she would sleep more and more over a period of two weeks and then peacefully expire. A few months before her 90th birthday, she was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive cancer and she decided, rather than getting chemo, radiation, etc., to pull the plug on dialysis, thus beginning the 2-week clock. She lasted 13 days and, just as the doc said, slept more and more as the days progressed, and departed in peace. (This was quite a few years ago.)
It blew my mind that, as with your friend, we essentially had a date circled on the calendar and could see that date approaching. The second week was quite solemn, especially as I had moved back home from the time of her decision and was with her throughout. It gave us all, as you said, a chance to talk through all things. Unlike your friend being lucid to the end (wow), mom was basically comatose by the time of her finish. It was all so very surreal though -- essentially turning the hour glass over and watching as the finite sand drained through. I sorta know what your friend and his loved ones might be going through, but even more so as he retains presence of mind to the last. Despite the clarity and closure, still a unique and bizarre human experience. My heart goes out. Thanks for your response.
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Post by Knuckles on Feb 12, 2024 21:32:36 GMT -5
I met with the guy today. in 6 days he'll end his life. We talked for a little over an hour. He said how his schedule is so busy as he prepares for his last days. He said on the positive, he is able to close all his loose ends and say the things we all mean to say. Our conversation spanned all our usual topics, e.g. you know what , social issues, economics, etc. One interesting BtB related topic was the experience of aging. He was an athlete, who spent much of his life closely involved with sports, before he became an evil lawyer (lol) . He said many athletes have trouble accepting passing their physical peak, which according to him, is 30 for most athletes. Many of his friends in their 60's are denying their age and he feels in a way being an athlete made it easier to accept. Emotional day for my wife and me, but I'm glad I got to know this guy. He lived (and ended) his life his way. I apologize for not responding to your post with the seriousness it deserves. I've experienced plenty of death among family and friends lately, but not one who has decided to take the course of action you describe.
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Post by my2cents on Feb 12, 2024 21:40:32 GMT -5
I met with the guy today. in 6 days he'll end his life. We talked for a little over an hour. He said how his schedule is so busy as he prepares for his last days. He said on the positive, he is able to close all his loose ends and say the things we all mean to say. Our conversation spanned all our usual topics, e.g. you know what , social issues, economics, etc. One interesting BtB related topic was the experience of aging. He was an athlete, who spent much of his life closely involved with sports, before he became an evil lawyer (lol) . He said many athletes have trouble accepting passing their physical peak, which according to him, is 30 for most athletes. Many of his friends in their 60's are denying their age and he feels in a way being an athlete made it easier to accept. Emotional day for my wife and me, but I'm glad I got to know this guy. He lived (and ended) his life his way. I apologize for not responding to your post with the seriousness it deserves. I've experienced plenty of death among family and friends lately, but not one who has decided to take the course of action you describe. No apology necessary. It lightened up the conversation a bit, so that was good.
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Post by my2cents on Mar 1, 2024 14:34:35 GMT -5
Update
Took my friend’s significant other out for Dim Sum. She said that by the time of his death, his liver and gallbladder had already shutdown. She said they spent a wonderful 4 days eating and doing sightseeing in Portland Oregon with friends and family. She said she held his hand after he drank the cocktail and drifted into a coma. His last words were “now I go to love you forever “. Fifteen minutes later he was dead.
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Post by soxfan9 on Mar 1, 2024 17:16:37 GMT -5
Damn, what a great way to go. Control your own destiny. We should all be so lucky to choose our own ending.
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Post by DavidL on Mar 1, 2024 23:54:57 GMT -5
After dealing with both my parents and Maggie's mother, I think your friend had the right idea.
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Post by JohnM on Mar 2, 2024 8:13:46 GMT -5
After dealing with both my parents and Maggie's mother, I think your friend had the right idea. Hi David, hope Maggie is feeling well.
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Post by Knuckles on Mar 2, 2024 10:14:30 GMT -5
After dealing with both my parents and Maggie's mother, I think your friend had the right idea. Hi David, hope Maggie is feeling well. The same. Barring the guy about whom this thread is, none of us figure to get out of here problem free.
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Post by my2cents on Mar 2, 2024 10:39:27 GMT -5
Hi David, hope Maggie is feeling well. The same. Barring the guy about whom this thread is, none of us figure to get out of here problem free. He definitely didn’t get out of here problem free. He barely made it to his chosen end date.. I have lost a lot of sleep over his decision the last few months, but after talking with his SI, he successfully left this world the way he wanted. P.S. He wrote letters for each of his grandkids to read in the future. The letters didn’t discuss his decision, but only expressed his feelings towards them and the wisdom he wanted to share with them.
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Post by DavidL on Mar 7, 2024 20:41:55 GMT -5
Thanks John and Dan. Maggie is doing well, but she's looking at the possibility of a kidney transplant. Hardly the worst thing given where transplant tech is at these days, and it's not terminal cancer, but it's not a hangnail, either. OTOH, we're still traveling - going to Texas for the eclipse, France in June and Egypt in Oct. So, all in all, life is still good.
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